I heard on the news the other day that President Obama has announced to NASA that they’re no longer allowed to go to the moon again, or even make plans for a Mars landing. Very sorry, but that new rocket, crew module, lunar module, series of spacesuits and lunar rover are now completely surplus to requirements. And personally, I think this is very sad. Yes, astronomic exploration IS largely pointless, but who cares, really? It’s bloody brilliant.
However, the important thing to remember is that it’s not as sad as it could be, because people have been to the moon before. Yes they have. YES THEY HAVE. SHUT THE HELL UP, THEY HAVE, ALRIGHT??
Right, now we’ve got that sorted out… YES THEY FUCKING HAVE… we can move on.
I’m well aware that this is a fairly dodgy issue, but today you’re all going to finally agree with me that they have been.
Some of you may be familiar with the expression ‘Occam’s Razor’, which basically means that the simplest explanation for an event or situation is probably the correct explanation. An example of this is if you hear hoofbeats, you could assume that it’s the sound of horses, zebras, or the extinct quagga, back from the dead. But it’s probably horses, so why not just say horses? And it’s exactly the same with the moon landings. YES IT IS.
See, the thing is, you’re probably sitting there now thinking ‘pah, the most obvious explanation is that they DIDN’T go to the moon!’, but you’re oversimplifying, you twat. What you have to consider is that if they didn’t go to the moon, they must have gone to Mars or something. Think about it. They built several Saturn V rockets, at a cumulative cost over nine years of production and development of US$6.5 Billion, develop the lunar excursion module, train two teams of three men to use all this gear, pile it all up together, ship it to a launch pad, fill it with RP-1/LOX fuel (yes, I’ve been doing my research again), and launch it into space, whereupon the tiny podule of people would have to, according to the people who don’t believe in the moon landing, randomly scream around in space, not in earth orbit, or else the Russians would have known about it, and then fall back to earth. And if they went and orbited the moon, why wouldn’t they have landed on it? People frequently use the argument that NASA claim not to have the technology now to land on the moon. There are two problems with this. First, what that means is that they can’t land a self sustaining life support unit containing two men and scientific equipment on a tiny planetoid under their current operating guidelines, ie, it can’t just be piloted in manually by a badass pilot like Neil Armstrong any more, and second, it’s bollocks. NASA never said that. Someone said they had, and then some people believed them.
And as for the soundstage theory, what are you suggesting? That they built a mockup of the lunar surface inside a vacuum chamber? Cause they did that gravity test on the moon, and that can only work in a vacuum.
SORT IT OUT.
Moon’s not even very good underneath it all.
I mean, yeah, it’s got ice, that’s pretty neat, but it’s not nothing on Mars. We went to the moon and came back and basically said,
“Yeah, it was alright. No wind! Mad for a beach party! Lower gravity! Deadly for volleyball!”
Any scientific significance? Not so much.
Mars though? It’ll be amazing.
“It’s deadly! Loads of wind! Mad for a big red beach party!”
Basically man did go to the moon. thats probably where Osama is too.